I really don't care fo this confused state i' am in. I feel as though my mind is constantly spinning around w/ no exit near. Geat for headaches bad for high school seniors who already have a headache from all this college talk. Also I 'm confused about this whole being bi thing. I wonder if it's a faze? oh well there's not much i can do about that. Plus i have the feeling i'm gonna like guys just a lil' bit more, you know they got that extra somethin :-)

I don't think I have such a good choice in friends. I really want to forgive my friend for goin out w/ my EX! but right now I feel really low about the situtation. I also know that I 'm not a very good friend for not being able to get over this fact of them goin out, cause the truth is it's almost two yrs. since the break up. I want to let go of all this hurt that is just Sunting me as a person, I call this the Peter Pan Affect! It's when everyone and everything else seems to grow/move on eccept me! So what should I do? I don't what to keep putting a mutral friend in the middle and risk losing her too. I want to get over this and let go...I want to be able to be friends w/ my ex and no there's no hurt feelings, but as I said, I'm not quiet ready for that yet. I don't want to lose another friendship over such a petty thing as a boy...b/c in the end he's a boy... a very unmature boy! I also know that in her eyes she see nothing wrong w/ the situtation, and that we should just be friends, but come on, although I may say I hate his guts, there's still that little piece of my immature hart that is still apart of the relationship we once had. This really suck ass, b/c this is probably goin to happen in the future, so I better get use to untrust worthy friends!yey me!

Another part of me wants to play them against each other...I acturally think it's funny, cause my friend is also a bisexual, so I feel the need to play head games w/ her...you know? Get her to think I like her, have her dump him...wave it in his face for a while and dump her as or vice versa. Funny ha?

Let me know your opinion, I would like to know that I'm not totally crazy , or if I' m a insune jealous bitch?

Circles. Most of the world can relatem just as our planet is a sphere. Like the saying 'the circle of life" m circles can be found in everything, patterns that don't quit. Everytime you leave one you spin back into one.

Honestly i still have no clue. Maybe i'm supose to be unsure, b/c if i'm too sure i'll lose sight on what's supose to occur....i have no clue what i'm supose to do. i'm 18 i still can't believe that my adulthood has come. now when i think about it i want to revert and never emerge frm childhood. if i tell my mom that there's goin to be this big eyebrow movement of  " i told you so". anyone could of told me that, including myself.