Just wanted to say to everyone

Merry Christmas and all the best for the New Year

A blog is a blog is a blog is a blog right!!!!




Ah we doth blog so we do......but to what purpose? ....I have asked myself this question a lot, is it a way of getting things out of our systems, is it a way of letting other people know that we are indeed human, that we are most definitely not one of those shape shifting lizard fucks that are plotting world domination and drive their cars into puddles when it rains so as to splash the home sapien in us...



I blame tv dinners and the lack of moral attitude in regards to the development of orbital based telescopes with attached maiser lasers which can microwave a crop field and also produce a pretty nifty computer generated design in the friggin process




I bet you are wondering what, wondering Hello!!!.....just wondering...but I ask you....is there any doubt what nobody is sure about? Ah the sublimeness of classical music....I went to watch a show last night, there were ballerinas dancing in full costume to hardcore rave music and they pirouetted with friggin ease to the boom boom boom of the friggin bassline....



Was truly wondrous






So I have bought myself a tu-tu....





Thought for this blog...


does my bum look big in this?

Man: Is this the right room for an argument?

Other Man:(pause) I've told you once.

Man: No you haven't!

Other Man: Yes I have.

M: When?

O: Just now.

M: No you didn't!

O: Yes I did!

M: You didn't!

O: I did!

M: You didn't!

O: I'm telling you, I did!

M: You didn't!

O: (breaking into the developing argument) Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?

M: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.

O: Just the five minutes. Thank you.

Anyway, I did.

M: You most certainly did not!

O: Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you!

M: Oh no you didn't!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn't!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn't!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn't!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn't!

O: Oh yes I did! > very fast

M: Oh no you didn't!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: No you DIDN'T!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: No you DIDN'T!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: No you DIDN'T!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh look, this isn't an argument!

(pause)

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn't!

(pause)

M: It's just contradiction!

O: No it isn't!

M: It IS!

O: It is NOT!

M: You just contradicted me!

O: No I didn't!

M: You DID!

O: No no no!

M: You did just then!

O: Nonsense!

M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!

(pause)

O: No it isn't!

M: Yes it is!

(pause)

I came here for a good argument!

O: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an *argument*!

M: An argument isn't just contradiction.

O: Well! it CAN be!

M: No it can't!

An argument is a connected series of statement intended to establish a proposition.

O: No it isn't!

M: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.

O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!

M: Yes but it isn't just saying "no it isn't".

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn't!

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn't!

O: Yes it is!

M: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process.

Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.

O: It is NOT!

M: It is!

O: Not at all!

M: It is!

>DING!< The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.

O: Thank you, that's it.

M: (stunned) What?

O: That's it. Good morning.

M: But I was just getting interested!

O: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.

M: That was never five minutes!!

O: I'm afraid it was.

M: (leading on) No it wasn't.....

(pause)

O: (dirty look) I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.

M: WHAT??

O: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.

M: But that was never five minutes just now!

(pause... the Other Man raises his eyebrows)

Oh Come on!

Oh this is...

This is ridiculous!

O: I told you...

I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!

M: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.)

There you are.

O: Thank you.

M: (clears throat) Well...

O: Well WHAT?

M: That was never five minutes just now.

O: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!

M: Well I just paid!

O: No you didn't!

M: I DID!!!

O: YOU didn't!

M: I DID!!!

O: YOU didn't!

M: I DID!!!

O: YOU didn't!

M: I DID!!!

O: YOU didn't!

M: (unable to talk straight he's so mad) I don't want to argue about it!

O: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!

M: Ah HAH!! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing???

Ah HAAAAAAHHH! Gotcha!

O: (pause) No you haven't!

M: Yes I have!

If you're arguing, I must have paid.

O: Not necessarily.

I *could* be arguing in my spare time.

It’s Sunday……



Memory is a wonderful thing……I find myself remembering even the most bizarre stuff from way back, and I am talking about from beyond my birth to the times before, to the times of mystic and magic and all manner of wizardry………….or maybe I am just delusional………..either way…….the memory of such events is as fresh in my mind as the day they never happened




Some things you wish you could change though, in hindsight, we all have memories we would rather not have, instances in our lives where we were not happy with the outcome to say the friggin least……but this is the way of us all…..to move along the bus….sometimes…..stuff happens….it isn’t nice….sometimes we wish to go back and rearrange some facts, spin some shit, lose something, gain something, be something else, to achieve something more………



Wishful thinking is a friggin bitch for sure lmao……..you see…..there is a flaw to this…it is like this..as I sit here and write these words I am struck by a startling thought, what if I did go back, change something, rearrange some stuff, be something else……there would be no guarantee that even though everyone has bad stuff happen in their lives, changing some facts would not necessarily guarantee that I would be here, in this moment, typing these words right now…….so…..It’s a chance I could not possibly take….



I am sure some would jump at the chance…..I just aint one of them…….my memory is what makes me what I am now, to be somebody else through some cosmic editing would make me a shadow of my self me thinks……..anyways…..that’s enough philosophising for a Sunday……I am happy with my seat on the bus…..it’s a window seat…Rawks





Thought for this blog from my dad Homer……..



You can’t blame yourself all the time, blame yourself once….then move on

Everyone has an opinion........this is a simple truth....each to their own......someone recently said to me that opinions are like *ssholes, everyone has got one........this is a very true saying, but, whether your opinion is going to cause offense is something which is beyond your control unless of course you are quite crass in your attitude towards your fellow humans of course ....

 Anyone can play the role of a fool......this is an easy role for anybody and given the minimal amount of effort, you can happily become.......but to what cost?......What kind of damage does taking an adversarial stance just to get people arguing really do?....Does it make a better discussion?...Does it make the initial topic seem that little bit more appealing just because some way out there views have been thrown into the mix so to speak?........I have questioned this to myself, I have indeed wondered why a subject cannot be discussed without someone always standing on their orange box trying to appear taller than the rest of the world......and I have come to the conclusion that there are more fools amongst us.....and many more arrive by the friggin minute.....

I  wish people wouldnt put the emphasis so much on themselves when in discussion, after all, it is a discussion, its not as if to lose would strike a burning brand across your immortal soul.......and yet......some peope fight each other in this virtual world  for minimalistic reasons....

People like to alienate for the most basic of reason apparently

 You may be asking yourself why this blog, why these words, why this and why that, but I ask you......does the why really matter, does everything have to be questioned and analysed until the initial point is lost in the chaotic mess that is created when every single aspect of a discussion is simplified so as to dilute the point entirely?........

I think we should devote more time to thinking about what kinds of input we truly want to give on a subject, if you have a view, examine that view, logically, if it is sound, then it will hold up, if its factual to begin with of course right?......and yet.....

 The Foolish do usually appear ........

thought for this blog......

If your going to put something in, make it worthwhile, make it count, dont just make the numbers up

Each to their own.....




Everyone has things they like...





Things they love.....






Some people do not like things other people like, I myself like Star Trek...some may call this geeky, some may agree and say yeah I like that too...







I have been collecting Star Trek DVD's for a while now, my collection is taller than me...I have spent over £500 on them.....






Obsessively compulsive you might say.....that cash could have been spent on something else, you could have invested, bought something more worthwhile than some futuristic bullshit.........





But that's the thing......who the fuck are you to say?





Free fucking will







Everyone has reasons for doing what they do, and they should be happy to do this in the relative comfort zone of whom they are, free from ridicule or gossip mongering, but that wouldn't be the way things really are....because people always have something to say regardless of what you do






I gladly embrace the geek in me...so much so I wear underpants over my clothes with a big orange G on them....







Super friggin Geek







thought for this blog.....




Theres klingons on the starboard bow ffs........scotty...more power ffs.....I just cannae do it cap'n.......the engines are gunna blow.....



beam me up ffs

Why do people deceive?......Well......some people just do it for the sake of it, some do it because they don't know any better, some people just do it for a laugh ya know, to see where the shit fits, and some do not even realise they are doing it because of some kind of mental illness that affects judgement and the ability to define reality in a big friggin way.......but everyone has a little deceiver in them some where along the line, at some point, everyone has deceived in some way, in some shape or in some form. It is natural to do I should think, for a purpose, and it isn't something you would generally go to confession for unless the deed was truly deadly enough to warrant a visit to the man of the cloth, the absolver, the guy who will take your sin and throw it to the wind so you can live to sin another day, with the comfort of knowing that the big fella just caught that shit for you so it's all cool and shit


Some people do not care for salvation, they have reached the depths where there is none, even if they are told that there is a hint of maybe they could be saved ya know, that is just a deception being played upon them because they are truly lost in the madness of whatever kind of bullshit reality they find themselves stuck in..........and they are stuck.....they secrete glue......they are glue people ...wanna borrow my sunglasses?

Anyway.....I was watching a TV programme the other day and suddenly I had the strangest feeling, I had actually had an idea!!!...you know...a thought process not forced, just came along on its own accord and said, HEY....I JUST FRIGGIN ARRIVED>>>>PAY AFRIGGINTENTION!!.....so I listened, I was a little bemused but, I thought, why the hell not!!!!!

So.....I had visitors that day...some of my friends came around and the front door was ajar.....they walked in to be greeted by the sight of me on my knees with my fingers on the face of a statue I got...immortalising Mr Spock with the words...."MY MIND TO YOUR MIND.........MY THOUGHTS TO YOUR THOUGHTS"....and they were a little shocked to say the least.....but.....apart from being slightly distracted by their prescence.............. the mind meld was a complete success....

Statues have a lot to friggin say ya know

You would be surprised

try to mind meld......toasters have secrets.......lamps have issues......taps have incontinence at times.......kettles are fucking hot!!!......couches have some fucking tales........tv's have too much to fucking show you........chairs have anger problems...

And that is just a drop in the friggin ocean.....


Now.......go meld....

Thought for mind melding.....


be careful what you meld with.....some bite back

Some People are rude ya know.......

Some people are rude without realising it.......

Some are rude intentionally....

They do this to feel some importance....

To feel in control of an aspect.....

Just to feel like they are actually people I suppose.....

So what can you do to fight the rude?......Well.......I have come up with a cunning plan........

Let us eat the friggin rude....

I am aware that the digestion system can deal with almost anything so.......I suggest that we dissect the rude, marinate, add some spices and herbs and tasty titbits to make the meal seem that little bit more appetising...and fucking dig in ......Some culinary delights are quite appealing so I am told..... or you could keep it simple..egg chips and person.....chicken curry fried rice and person......person with vinegar...person in blackbean sauce...person in batter......or just a plain person sandwich with some lettuce or somethng.....


I am sure we could, if we all get together, come up with some new and appealing dishes that rival anything in the current market today, and this in turn could be turned into some kind of cookbook for the insane and we could all get rich, and, seeing as though this was my idea from the start, I shall take 40% for myself and the rest of you can chew on how you divide the other 60% because...I aint greedy

I am rather particular as to what I fucking eat

And I also chew my Rude.......savour it.....

Anyways I have babbled enough, it is time to get someone out of the oven 

Dig in people

Thought for walking in on someone eating the rude.......


You want fries and a coke with that?