Unfortunately salsa class came to an end last night but it ended on a high... for me anyway. There was a small competition to see who could keep going the longest without making any mistakes, with the music being changed three times to faster tempos. You guessed it - yours truly came out on top! I got a nice little token prize as well.

Unfortunately I let myself down in the second half of the class where we were given a taster of salsa dancing in pairs and because there was an odd number I had to dance with the instructor who is about a foot smaller than me (and probably less than half my weight too). What made me feel more ridiculous was that she was dancing as the man! There was one part I just couldn't get and she had to push me and pull me around the place to get me where I was supposed to go! Oh the shame!

It was fun while it lasted anyway and I have decided to sign up for the next class, El Segundo, which takes place mid January. It's in the line formation again. I don't think I'm ready for partners yet....

I decided I had neglected my page long enough... time for an update.

I am still a non smoker. I have been in so many situations at this stage where I should have wanted to smoke again but didn't and it's one thing I am so proud of myself for. But unfortunately pride cometh before a fall....

.... I went back to the auto suggestion guy about the weight loss. No success. I think I was right in what I said in my earlier blog. Plus the fact that the winter months are in - prime junk food season! Ah hell new year will bring a new me hopefully!

Just to help myself combat my overeating tendencies, I took up two classes in September - interior design and salsa dancing.

Salsa finishes next week. It was done in the same type of formation as line dancing - no partners required. It's great fun and the most enjoyable exercise class I ever participated in. I met lots of great people in the class and, like me, most of them have signed up for the more advanced class to begin in January.

Interior design lasted only four weeks, and even though we covered a lot in that space of time (12 hours altogether), we still only scraped the surface. Still, I have got plenty of ideas for when our house is fully renovated.

Now I'm here a few weeks to Christmas facing the terrible thought that I might not be able to afford any night classes, might not be able to afford the renovations to our house and the revamping of the interior, and worse still, that we might not be able to afford to attend my sister's wedding in Barbados next August.

Why? My husband found out last Friday that this week was to be his last in his current job - he's being laid off. A nice prelude to Christmas, my favourite time of year since I was a little girl. He has been laid off before, around this time of year actually one time. He wasn't out of work for much more than two or three weeks, at which stage he was about to go off his trolley, when he got a phone call from one of the companies he had visited with his cv the previous week. He stayed with them for two and a half yrs. Hopefully he will be as lucky this time.

It's not all doom and gloom though. He's happy he's gone from the job - it was tedious and boring and if truth be told he spent a lot of time doing nothing. Sounds like my idea of heaven, money for old rope, but he's not that kind of person. He has spent the last 2 yrs going from job to job never able to find something that pays a decent wage that he even half enjoys doing. Is he asking too much? I don't think so. I think I had between 10 and 15 different jobs before I found the one I'm in now and I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I don't think he will find a job doing what he always raves about (car modification) but I'm sure there must be something similar he could do.

Anyway, I always seem to go off on a complete tangent when I make an entry here, but I will try to make more regular updates so there is more structure to my entries.

Stay safe everyone!

....me b**locks! I knew this would happen. The Auto Suggestion Technique is all well and good for those who want to stop smoking/drinking/taking drugs/gambling. People can live perfectly normal lives without ever taking part in any of these activities (I know some of you would beg to differ, where drink is concerned anyway!). This is not the same thing as just cutting down. You have to eat to live. Unfortunately, I seem to live to eat.

That same half stone is staying off by some sort of miracle, no thanks to the walking being put in the back seat for the past two weeks, as well as me stuffing my face with junk food, particularly after 7pm! My nerves!

I did try ringing the guy but conveniently he hasn't been answering his phone or returning my calls... no wonder he has such high success rates. He doesn't keep track of people at all.

Well I'm going to try something else cos come hell or high water I'll be a svelte size 12 by the time it comes to the Barbados wedding next August (yes as if a wedding wasn't enough motivation to lose weight my sister has decided it's going to be on a flipping tropical island!) I am looking forward to it except for the idea of me in my swimwear in public ***shivers with disgust***. Anyway I have signed up for a Salsa Slims class which takes place once a week and it sounds like good fun. Basically it's a beginners Salsa class which is done in line formation, so no worries about freaky partners, and also a diet class like WeightWatchers or UniSlim.

My mother is also trying to lose weight and she text me last night after her first week weigh in to say she lost 8lbs! I'm delighted for her but disgusted for me! I haven't lost that much in 2 months!

Enough ranting... just wanted to give ye an update.

Weird Al Yankovich - a legend in his own lunchbox. I find this guy most entertaining but do you guys agree with the message portrayed in this song? I do in part. The part I agree with is buying anything off the internet can become a terrible habit. As you know I have that addictive personality anyway - spending money I don't have is just another one. Anyway enjoy the song!

 

    ">

I have a dilemma and I need some advice.

Someone who I had thought was a good friend has really disappointed me and even though this is a really long story I would really appreciate if some of you would take the time to read this and help me out.

About 4 or 5 years ago my sister R., a friend of hers P. and my husband, D. were out dancing in a nightclub, when P., who was pregnant at the time, was being nudged incessantly by a girl J. who was friendly with R. but never liked P. going back to school days. Basically the outcome of all this was that R. wanted to defend her pregnant friend and after trying to let it go decided enough was enough and lost the rag with J. There was a bit of a scuffle and my husband got in the middle to try to stop it all and in the process was accused by J. of hitting her. Anybody that knows my husband knows that he is not at all like this. He is able to defend himself but up until this incident he had never had to do so. We decided to leave the club but outside the club we discovered that J.s boyfriend, M. and J.s brother PJ had been called and told what had happened. M. is often in rows as a result of over indulgence in alcohol and he wanted to avenge his girlfriend's so called assault. At this time I was working with M.s sister A. and had become very friendly with her. This incident never effected our friendship and A. is very aware of the type of person M. is.

Cut to present day. A. is due to get married at the end of July. My sister and I were at her hen night there a couple of weeks ago. We had a great time. My sister found out from J. (they have kind of made up since) that A. is inviting me and her and not me and my husband (who was friendly with A.s fiance) to the wedding. This didn't bother me when I heard it but the following week I got a text to say to go into my former workplace (A. still works there) and collect something from another girl that works there as it was A.s day off. It was the invitation. I had never expected to be invited to the wedding at all because I knew about M. and his mood swings, particularly where alcohol is involved. My husband had no interest in going and being the catalyst for a wedding disaster. I just feel very hurt that it wasn't discussed with me before hand about the invitation not including MY HUSBAND and also I feel like she chickened out by asking someone else to give the invite to me. I met her out last Saturday night (there had been drink taken but we weren't really drunk). She tried to explain what she did but continued to tell me that she had discussed the issue with two of our mutual friends who had told her to talk to me before she wrote the invite to find out how I felt. She doesn't know that I knew about it since the hen night. Basically she dug herself a massive hole telling me people would "tolerate" my sister but my husband was a no go.

I can't go on about this any more. I have tried to make sense of it but I can't

I can't believe it but it is true and it does work. I know it has only been just over a week but I'm feeling good about this.

I have to admit I felt a little freaked out by the guy who was performing this "auto suggestion" thingy on me but it bloody worked so I don't care that I had to feel a little uncomfortable for a while.

Basically what happened was I went to meet him in this hotel and was glad to see there were about four others waiting too. I waited my turn, getting more and more nervous and eventually it came to my turn. I walked into the room and John (a gentleman in his late 60's with white hair and a big smile) welcomed me in and gestured for me to take a seat. He stood in front of me and held my wrists he explained briefly what he was going to do and also said, and I quote "I want to see you again in about a months time and we'll get rid of that meat off you". Bear in mind I have only just met this man not much more than two minutes previous. I am a sensitive sort and usually any type of remark that might be remotely related to the fact that I am very over weight causes some sort of emotional break down in me, but instead I just smiled at him and nodded. It wasn't until I left that I realised how rude it was of him to speak to me in that way.

Anyway after explaining the method and finding out how much I smoked and my reasoning behind wanting to give it up, and the same about my weight. What seemed like mid-conversation he began to walk around to the back of the chair where I was sitting and placed both his hands on my shoulders and told me to close my eyes. He told me that I was to repeat everything he said in my head. The reason for this is that telling yourself something in your head has 200 times the power of saying it out loud. I found this a little incredible but I followed his instruction anyway. The general gist of what he said to me was that from that moment I was a non smoker, being in the presence of smokers or the smell of smoke would not bother me or entice me to smoke, I would not acquire any bad habits to replace smoking, there would be no withdrawal symptoms, no irritability, no replacing cigarettes with food and so on. This went on for about 4 minutes and then I was told to open my eyes. I felt very relaxed and happy somehow.  He then told me that I might find it difficult that evening but that when I woke in the morning I would be fine.... and he was right.

My biggest test was the weekend as it was a bank holiday and the birthday of one of my friends. I was out Saturday night and Sunday night and spent the majority of both nights in the smoking area with the smokers puffing away and was pleasantly surprised to find it didn't bother me in the least. I drank like a fish but couldn't get drunk and had no hangover to speak of on either Sunday or Monday morning.

It bodes well for me staying off the blessed things. You guys will be among the first to know if I fall off the horse!

Oh yeah just to let you know I am going back to him on the 11th July to try and deal with this weight problem. 7 stone is nearly a whole (small) person that I have to lose! Anyway I'll let you know when the time comes how this goes too.

Am I a complete mentalist? Don't answer that. I want to give up cigarettes and any of you that know me know that I have tried and failed miserably on numerous occasions. This time I feel a little more serious about the whole thing. We have all gone through the pre-new years "definitely doing it this time" be it giving up the smokes, starting a bit of exercise, watching the diet whatever, but it's rarely little more than a 4-6 week wonder. Same goes for when lent comes around. As my friend the bould deano found out these things are a lot easier said than done especially when the majority of friends are doing precisely the opposite of what you are trying desperately to achieve. Anyway this time I have decided it will be different and that I will be a recovering smoke-aholic by the weekend. Tomorrow (Wednesday 28th May) I am going to meet a man who is going to use the auto suggestion technique to help me rid myself of my addiction. He tells me that there will be ABSOLUTELY NO SIDE EFFECTS! Can you believe it? He says the smell of fags won't entice me to partake, I won't start eating like the proverbial horse for the want of something to occupy my hands and above all I won't go through any withdrawal process. I'm sure that I will have the usual coughing and spluttering as my lungs devoid themselves of all the tar I have lined them with over the past 12 years on and off. I hadn't intended on telling anyone about this but I need all the help and support I can get and where better to look for it than on the good old interweb! Oh and in case you're wondering, yes this guy is going to get himself 300 notes for this but if it doesn't work I will have free consultations with him until it does. No skin off his nose I'm sure - a consultation is only 10 minutes long. Anyhoo I'll keep you all posted on my progress. Thanks in advance for the support!   ******************************************************************************************************************************************* I saw this after I had made the decision to give up. It's pretty gross and there are lots more reasons to give up than I first thought.

A friend of mine emailed this to me and I thought it was so funny (plus I haven't added anything here in ages) I had to share it! Enjoy!

 

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing in line at the check out.    

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that
condition because I had been poisoned.

I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking
my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid b*tch...why else would I buy dog food??

It has to be said though, some people really are that dense!

Ok for those of you that don't know, there is about to be a gneral election here in Ireland in about two weeks time. Bertie Ahern is our current Taoiseach (Prime Minister) and Enda Kenny is the leader of the opposition. The same guy composed both these pieces; the clip of An Taoiseach appearing on Dragon's Den and Mr. Kenny on American Idol. You've gotta love it... or feel sorry for us irish with the prospect of being stuck with Bertie again or, perhaps even worse, having a new leader in the shape of Enda! ENJOY!

    ">

Your text here

    ">

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step
into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two
bars of soap, one in each hand and heads back to the showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.
Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.
The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood.
Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

"Oh look" says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser".
To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood.
Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.
Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and
three times but nothing happens. So she gives several more tugs,
then yells...
*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

"Holy Mary, Mother of God, HAND LOTION TOO!"