Is it time to abolish the so-called 'Race Relations Board' or the 'Commission For Racial Equality' (UK) and it's American (and other) counterparts?

I ask this because I feel the very existance of these government departments actually promotes so-called 'racial' discrimination by defining differences. In fact, there is ONLY ONE HUMAN RACE and discrimination on the basis of skin colour is no different than discrimination on the grounds of different eye colour , hair colour or size of feet. If all humanity was of the same skin tone, would we have riots between the 'blue-eyes' and the 'green-eyes', or the Size 7 boots and the Size 9 boots?

The fact that we have common ancestors (Humanity came out of Africa [or, if you prefer, God created all things] ) tells us that we are all one and the same. DNA profiling tells us that we are all one and the same. If the Neanderthals were still with us, then there might be some justification for  'race' relations policies. But every Human Being on this planet today belongs to ONE race - Humanity.

There are several terms in English that are nonsensical - 'interracial' for example. There is no such thing. 'Mixed Race' - again, no such thing. 'Race Riots' - ridiculous. It should be 'Some Humans rioting against some other Humans'.

I'm happy to acknowledge Cultural differences and would suggest that the Race Relations departments of governments be replaced by Cultural Relations departments. Not only would this do away with the nonsensical definition of non-existant 'racial' demarkations, but it would foster tolerance and understanding of cultural differences and allow us to explore them without feeling intimidated or threatened.

I once overheard someone who had been refused something say 'You only refused me 'cos I'm black'. Actually it was not true, but people will consider this to be a semi-reasonable assumption simply because we are 'conditioned' to think in terms of different colour = different race. But think for a moment how much more ridiculous that would have sounded if she'd said 'You only refused me because I have green eyes'. But it's effectively the same thing.

Be proud of your culture by all means. Be proud of your skin colour if you like, but for all our sakes, be aware that every single Human being is unique (and skin tones range from very white to very black, with every possible shade in between) and that discriminating on the grounds of a nonsensical percieved 'racial' difference is just plain daft.

Recent research shows that there are 5 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first
meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your
partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere,
even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your
partner for a long time. Your sex has become routine and you usually have
sex in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your
partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say
"F$@K You".

The 5th kind of sex is Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your
wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

Egyptologists of the 'orthodox' school of Egyptology put an age on civilsation of about 6,000 years. Before that, they say, there was no civilsation - humankind was tribal, nomadic, disparate. The advent of agriculture was the big bang of civilsation and this happened in Egypt at that time. There could be no possibility, they say, of a coherent civilisation before that.

There are many 'clues' however, to suggest otherwise:

1. It is claimed that the sphynx is way older than that, not only by virtue of the weathering on it, but also by way of a reasonable hypothesis as to why it is there, why it faces east and why it's a lion. I'll look at these ideas shortly.

2. The age of the pyramids at Giza is hotly contested and the 'clue' that they may be older than orthodoxy allows, is in their (near) perfection, compared with younger ones, whose ages are recorded, which are like garden sheds in comparison.

3. Agriculture itself, according to Egyption Lore, was handed down to them - along with architecture, geometry, a written notation and other marks of 'civilisation'. - By whom?

4. The bible tells us that God flooded the whole world, wiping out everyone buy Noah and his family. This story has echoes in the Lore of many ancient civilisations (contemporary with Egypt, Sumaria etc). We know the flood occurred (though whether it flooded the entire planet is very doubtful) and we also know that all of humankind are descended from just five 'families' - suggesting a catastrophic wiping out. However, which 'civilisation' did Noah (and his four mates) come from? They obviously had the technology to build a big boat capable of crossing seas bigger than any on Earth today.

5. The comparison of pyramids in Egypt with pyramids in Mexico and other places has been ridiculed. But there are many instances of 'similar' thoughts and ideas in all parts of the world, when there was (supposedly) no communication between them.

6. The Piri Reis maps exist.

Let us start with the Sphynx. The weathering suggests that for many many years, it was rained on. The climate for that to be possible has not been anywhere near Egypt for long enough, if the thing is less than 6,000 years ago. Some say the effects could be due to sand, rather than water. As far as I'm aware, most 'experts' dispute that.

The hypothesis that exists to suggest why it is there, why it faces East and why it's a Lion goes along these lines:

A civilisation exists. It has trade routes all around the planet, conveying ideas as well as goods. Assume that this civilisation knows it is doomed; that a major catastrophe is about to occur. Whilst steps would be taken to preserve as much as possible, it would be foolish to presume a continued existence and so some marker should be placed so that any intelligence looking at it later would be able to work out who, or what put it there. And Why. If OUR civilisation faced a certain end, I'm sure we would want to leave a mark - something to say 'We were here'.

Why a Lion? You have all heard the song from Hair, whose chorus line is : This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius. For those of you that do not know, this means that when the sun comes up at the Spring Equinox, the constellation 'behind' it, will be Aquarius. At the moment we are on the cusp of Pisces and Aquarius, as the atrological constellations move around us due to a slight 'wobble' in the Earth's orbit. This 'wobble' causes the sky to 'revolve' around us once every 26,000 years. This is called the Precession of the equinoxes. Each astrological 'sign' lasts about 2,000 years. As we're leaving Pisces, it's interesting to note that 'the sign of the times' is a fish - a sign that Christianity has used throughout its existence - 2,000 years. Jesus lived on the previous cusp. If you were faced with anihilation and wanted to place a marker that not only said 'We were here', but also said 'WHEN we were here', a ruddy great fish, pointing East, would be a good way of doing that. Leo, incidentally, would have been the suns rising partner approximately 12,500 years ago - about half way round the precession.

Egyption tombs, as you know, contain pictures and other decorations. A lot of pomp, circumstance and colour. Egyptologists maintain that the pyramids at Giza are tombs. If this is true, why are they not decorated? At all? Egyptologists maintain that a single instance of the word 'khufu', scrawled garffitti-like on a block of stone proves that it is the tomb of this ancient pharoh. It has been suggested that this was written by an explorer desperate to find a reason for the pyramid. The internals of the Great Pyramid make no sense. There are a series of rooms in the centre, one above the other, all above the so-called burial chamber. They are empty and have not been decorated. There is no evidence to show that anyone entered these rooms in the thousands of years since the place was sealed. So what were they all about? I do have a hypothesis of my own, to which I'll arrive shortly.

 I believe it was Osiris who brought civilisation to Egypt. Osiris of course is an Egyptian God. In the days of unenlightenment that preceded civilisation (or superceded the anihilated one), anyone who, in the space of what was left of his lifetime, created civilisation, would be elevated to God status, by the time he'd passed from legend into myth. We do it now, creating saints from special people. So where did Osiris come from - could his other name have been Noah?

It is easy to imagine that there were several 'Noah's'. Just because God told one Noah to build a boat does not mean thare were no other boats. If Noah's boat survived, it's safe to assume others did too. The people on these boats would have known about agriculture, geometry (you need that to drive a boat) and architecture etc.

The similarity of architecture and other ideas in disparate places only remains a mystery if you assume no communication - or you refute the possibility that seperate Noah's came from the same preceding civilisation. Boats were invented by stoneage man. Crude, true, but boats. Man is a clever animal, refining, improving everything he invents. It is silly to assume people were using dug-outs for a hundred thousand years. They had good boats 12,000 years ago - boats that would allow them to travel across to other lands. The disparate locations in which architectural similarites occur suggest these people crossed the entire globe.

And the tour-de-force, my favourite 'clue'. I actually see it as proof, and I am happy with that proof. The Piri Reis map, for those of you who do not know, is a map of the world. It shows shipping routes all round the globe. It has the middle East as its centre point, its 0 degrees of longitude and latitude, its Greenwich. It shows, with remarkable accuracy, all of the coastlines of all of the continents - including Antarctica, which is a seriously neat trick, because the coast it shows is not only accurate, more so than any we could produce before satellites, has been covered with a kilometre of ice for - wait for it - at least 8,000 years.

Here is my hypothesis:

That there was a civilisation 12,500 years ago. It was a worldwide civilisation engaging in commerce, exchange of ideas and ideals and most probably, engaging in a lot of warfare too. Knowing that their civilisation was about to be destroyed, the sphynx was created as a marker to say who and when they lived. The Great Pyramid was built to house books and other things - matches, food, that sort of thing. The ice caps melted and the flood happened. The few survivors returned to the pyramid, which was sealed against the flood waters and retrieved the 'stuff'. This gave them the tools to reintroduce civilisation and also explains why the damn thing was empty when we came to look in it. It is even possible that these 'Noah's' stayed within the pyramid whilst the flood was in progress - that might explain those funny little bird  hatches 2/3 of the way up that they keep trying to send robots up.

In true Monty Python style: This is my theory and what it is too. And it's mine.

Discuss?

I have just returned from Hawkfest 2007. You've all heard of Glastonbury (next week), but how many of you know Hawkfest? This is the third such (the last one was four years ago) - a rock festival hosted by the band Hawkwind.

Before the event, I looked at the band listing and was dismayed to discover that I only knew one of them - Hawkwind of course. But Hawkwind are gods and so I went. There were two stages; one in a barn, the other in a big tent. Look up www.hawkfest.co.uk for a band listing (if you're bothered). On Friday I discovered 'Mister Pink', 'Groovewierd' and 'Modal Logic'. I'm not a drinker normally, but I got very, very drunk. Met a delightful young lady called Julia, who is 5 foot nothing. We danced.

As I only live 10 mins from the Festival site, I slept at home - OK it's not quite in the festival spirit but as anyone who is in the UK knows, the weather hates rock festivals and some tents ended up in the middle of small lakes, so all in all, a good idea.

The buzz on Saturday was all about the Hawkwind set, due to play at 10pm. The day was spent traveling (not far) from tent to barn to tent to barn to watch a succession of new (to me) bands. Enjoyed 'Bruise' and the 'Dooberries', like 'Tits of Death' (yes, they really ARE called that), but not over fussy on the vocals. Good loooking band tho - all female and boy, can they rock.

Was lucky enough to meet up with Julia again so we shared the Hawkwind gig. It was the most awesome, amazing, astounding gig I've ever been to (and I've been to a few, including several of Hawkwind's). I was in heaven - the guys played all of my favourites - including those I've never heard live. Julia dances like a professional - you can see she feels the music. And the energy is amazing for one so small. It took us a long time to come down from that gig - about 3.30 am in fact before I could see clearly enough to get back to the house.

Sunday was an incredible day. Dave Brock (the front man for Hawkwind for 40 years) got married to Kris Tait, with all the festival guests invited. There was a masquerade ball in the big tent and everyone got a share of the wedding cake and champagne. It was a day-long party. Julia and I spent a chunk of Sunday getting pissed and ...er ....otherwise 'lubricated' with none other than Matthew Wright (UK TV chat host), who, it has to be admitted, had a whale of a time. Yes, we have the photo's, but not, unfortunately, the one we really wanted - the aforementioned mr Wright, seriously 'betronken', sitting in a puddle, unable to get up (Damn! That pic was worth thousands, lol).

Trad Jazz band at the wedding, the 'Whoopie Band' in the tent (amazingly funny jazz lot), 'Technicians of Spaceship Hawkwind' (with special guests) and, yes, another Hawkwing gig Sunday Night. Julia had been drinking gallons and vowed to dance on despite a killer of a headache, the threat of serious tummy trouble and possibly death until three tracks from the end when she announced it was time to lie down. I walked her across a field with the sound of the band in our ears. She perked up in the air and we sat by her tent to listen to the last of the music. After an hour or so, Julia said she was ready to go dancing some more but sadly, the night only echoed the silence. It was all over.

I was far too pie-eyed to get home that night and so I stayed with Julia. Well, Julia slept and I didn't. Her airbed is only one person wide, so I lay on the floor, one arm draped around the girl to keep her warm. And if you're dying to know......

Julia is one of the most beautiful women I've met. She has an amazing personality and I was hooked - and she turned down the aforementioned Mr Wright and spent the time with me - but no. She was drunk. I do not take advantage.

Whether I ever see Julia again (and I seriously hope I do) or not, the weekend of the 15th to the 18th June 2007 was one of the most amazing of my life - and I just had to share it with you.

There have been a few posts on this site that refer to the 'differences' between men and women. I present here a selection of observations for you all to enjoy.

Please, enjoy them in them in the spirit in which they are presented.

Men vs. Women

NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item on sale that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument.   Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

:o)  Snak

I am now going to sober you up.

 

‘But I’m not drunk’, you might argue. Oh, but you are. If you’re still alive and can feel the wind upon your skin, hear anything at all (even the sound silence makes), see anything at all (whether you have your eyes closed or not) and are aware of yourself and your immediate environment, then you are immersed in sensation, and therefore, by the definition that follows, drunk. And I am going to sober you up.

 

Look at your position in the world. Look not only at your physical surroundings, but take a moment and imagine yourself to be your brother, your sister, a friend, an uncle, looking at, and thinking about, you.

 

What do they see? What do they think? Do they like you? Why?

 

Now imagine that you are a stranger, approaching you in the street – what do they think? What’s their ‘first impression’?

 

You may think you look good. Imagine someone else you know who is not at all like you in manner, style of dress etc and imagine being them, looking at you. What do they think?

 

What about your position in the world? How many people know you? If you Google yourself (go to www.google.com and type in your name in inverted commas and your city: “Firstname Lastname” AND City) what gets returned?

 

Occasionally you will be reminded of the past, whether it is your school days, places you’ve holidayed, places you’ve lived, places you’ve worked. In all of these places and these times, you have interacted with people. You are thinking of some of them now. Imagine how they might be remembering you when they too, look back on their lives.

 

If you’re lucky, you will live for 70 or 80 years; maybe longer. In all of that time you will have interacted with thousands of people – if you’re famous, maybe millions. You exist to a greater or lesser extent within all of these people all the time they are alive and so your influence extends far beyond you – far beyond now. It extends deep within other people and into the past. It extends into the future also as you make plans, or are part of other peoples plans, or exist in other peoples’ memories.

 

If you’re very lucky, this extension of your existence will extend beyond your grave, in the minds and hearts of people you interact with, who are younger than you (your children, your grandchildren, the snotty little kid across the road whose ball you ARE going to burst one day).

 

If you are very, very lucky, your films/books will be watched/read long after you’re dead, or your recordings will still be popular a hundred years from now, or your concerto’s still being played 300 years from now.

 

But the brief spark that is you – and the impact you make on the world and other people will go out. It will not just suddenly one day not be there any more, but it will fade away as the last person who remembers you succumbs to death; as the last copy of your book/film wears out; as the last evidence that you ever existed at all is wiped from the collective consciousness of the world.

 

If you are a king or a queen or some figure ‘important’ to history your name will be recorded in lists. But think back to your school history lessons – ok, you may know that Henry 8^th lived (and therefore ate, loved, sang, cut his toenails), but do you know him – what were his dreams, his true yearnings, the thoughts he had when all alone in the deep of the night? You do not think of these things for a king long dead, so you cannot assume anyone else will take the time to consider the real you, long after you’re gone.

 

Now think VERY hard, because here comes the question that will sober you up:

 

1,000 years ago, the world had a population of between 254,000,000 and 350,000,000. That’s approximately three hundred million people. All of whom lived, breathed, ate, fell in love, suffered the pains of grief and/or injury, had epic love affairs, dreamed, yearned, experienced happiness and sadness, experienced the beauty of dawns and sunsets, heard birdsong and felt the wind – they were as complicated in their own heads as you are – they were real, living human beings.

 

How many can you name?

I'm a programmer, web designer, database engineer, player of World of Warcraft and online poker. I live alone (recently dis-partnered) in a house in the middle of the English Countryside. I work for the local university and run my own web hosting company. I also love my garden (which is quite big). I am fond of music, of which there are only two types - good and bad. I enjoy reading, usually Science Mags (Like New Scientist) or Fantasy (which needs no examples).

I have an advanced sense of humour, which amuses me so that's all right. Whilst I think humanity has a lot of potential, most of it has a long way to go. I think (like Asimov) that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent and (expanding on Asimov), the first refuge of the seriously challenged.

I am not prejudiced in any way regarding colour, race, sex, nationality, chosen career, unavoidable circumstance or preferred reliance on any non-sensical religious indoctrination. I do tend to speak my mind but am prepared to listen to reason. I have, or can formulate, an opinion on any subject you care to mention. I am fond of debate. I am fond of women. I also like other animals.

I tend not to blog. I could never keep a diary anyway. Always too busy doing it to sit and write about it. Which is also why I've started several novels/short stories and only ever finished 3 of the shorts. Oh, I wrote a comedy script for the BBC once, but I never sent it in. Hilarious it was, too.

If you want to know anything else - ask. I don't bite (see violence comment above). I'm quite gregarious, reasonably altruistic and sensibly adventurous.