There have been a few posts on this site that refer to the 'differences' between men and women. I present here a selection of observations for you all to enjoy.
Please, enjoy them in them in the spirit in which they are presented.
Men vs. Women
NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item on sale that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
:o) Snak
snak
17 Comments
Q: Where can women over the age of 50 find young, sexy men, who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction
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Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement.
When you are done you will have a place to live.
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Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
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Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.
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Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
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Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
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Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
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Q: Where do 50+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?
A: Their foreheads.
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Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "I remember these".
but I'll bet I put as much effort into looking nice as any female ;) some of us care what you glas think!
NICKNAMES: after a bottle of red wine and a few cocktails... everyone becomes dude male or female.
EATING OUT: I'm not even answering this one my mind goes some place this site may not be rated for >:)
MONEY: SO VERY WRONG I look for the bargians women just need shoes and will pay ANYTHING for them.
BATHROOMS: Let's see assorted scrubs, face cleansers, lotions / moisturizers, toner, body scrub, shampoo, nail brush scrubber, foot pumice, surf wax for hair but no brush or comb or even blow dryer just my messy do..., toothbrush, floss picks, mouthwash, toothpaste, teatree blemish stick, razor, shave cream, tweezers no uni brows alowed, burts bee's cuticle balm, nail clipper, body hair trimmer I hate body hair lol, burts bee's lip balm, deodorant, translucent powder for when on stage, eye liner for almost always lol, blotting sheets no shine forehead. I bet there is more but you get the point and I'm almost in shock I've revealed this in public lol.
ARGUMENTS: none here a womans always right
CATS: I have 2 cats they're ok for the most part when they aren't messing the place up. I'd only ever get one kind of dog I like Boxers - but just don't like dog smell!
FUTURE: The future will come weather you worry or not live now and enjoy it while yuou can.
SUCCESS: making enough to live while having enough time to live and have fun doing what you love.
MARRIAGE: only marry for love expect things to always change and not always for the best but always remeber you got married because you love each other! always remember things happen and you'll need to look past some bad times.
DRESSING UP: all the worlds a stage I dress up every day for myself because I like to.
NATURAL: I don't know that a smushed up red pillow face and puffy eyes qualifies as waking up good looking for anyone male or female but I always thought a women is adorable with no make up on and messy hair something really sweet/sexy about it
OFFSPRING: no thanks
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
I actually agree with the above but think it's a great way for both to think... don't dwell on the bad times just make more good times.
cheers!
Hey you know AdGuy always gets the last word! ;)