I'm all for the sensitive new age guy concept, (in-fact I am one)
...but sometimes I wonder if it was better in the 40's when the sexes had traditional roles.
I even heard that in Sweden they have sessions where a group of men spend the weekend in the forrest growling together, chopping down trees, learning how to be masculine again.
Are we now becoming just too PC and equal opportunities for our own good?
JV
15 Comments
a few leg wounds will help y'all man up! ;)
It's called cultural evolution, and as is the situation in so many cases (and the media ecological framework demonstrates how), human cultural evolution , intellectual evolution, and biological evolution are intimately connected. For instance, lifespans are extended when we both stop eating with our (filthy) hands and start using systems of plumbing that carry septic waste away.
To e-mascul-ate is to take one's masculinity away, to make a eunuch of him. C'mon, guys, is that what's really happening? No, clearly, it is not. I think that any man who feels emasculated is just not secure in his own masculinity to begin with.
But if you HAVE to have something that makes you feel more masculine, for the love of God, don't waste your time or your money doing a weekend retreat on how to howl at the moon and run naked through the fields!!! Go buy some power tools and BUILD SOMETHING!!!
In the space of one generation, all of that has changed. For the better?
It has been reported that men are losing their identity in a world increasingly dominated by women. It has also been reported that there was a brief backlash against the emancipation of women resulting in men violently attacking women. One theory about the story of Genesis is that it is a warning - an echo of an earlier civilisation in which women were on top (so's to speak) and which was the civilisation destroyed by God for being evil.
Now I've known for a while that women can be far more evil than men and anyone whose watched a cat-fight, or listened in on a woman-woman argument can testify to that, lol.
I do not consider myself to be a 'new man', although I've always trearted everyone, male or female, as a bone-fide Human Being, neither more or less 'equal' than myself. I clean, I cook (I'm a damned good cook), I wash. I can even work a vacuum cleaner competently.
I do however think the PC movement is getting ridiculous. To ban or re-word childrens nursery rhymes 'cos someone *might* think it's racist, or to ban the use of the word 'Christmas' 'cos it might upset muslims is just plain bonkers.
It occurs to me that, quite often, the person who cries 'sick!', is the one with the problem. But this has become off topic - sorry.
I suppose you could say my marriage was traditional - I worked, she cooked. I studied, she soaped. God it was boring. They say that children are more content when they know the boundaries of behaviour within which they must stay and so your 'was it better in the 40's.... line may ring true with some people.
For me though, give me equality and a partner with drive of her own.....life has to be more interesting that way. Of course there is a downside to a partner with her own drive ..... it may be more likely she'll drive away. Hmmm.... I wonder if I have to now rethink.....
"These women are all mad."
"Why's that?" the other asked.
"Because now they've got equality, they're worse off."
"How come?"
"'cos before, they could always twist men round their little fingers. Now we can say f**k off and do it yourself".
I saw an American tv talk show and there was a women saying how the feminist movement has been a double-egded sword for women. They can now do the same jobs as men (admittedly often for less money) but most still want babies and to bring them up. As if being a mother wasn't hard enough - now they've got a full blown career too.
Of course, somehow I think that misses the point. Sure some women may be doing that and it's super difficult, but it's the choice they fought for. Just because someone can do something, doesn't mean they want to / have to / should do.
As for emasculated men, who wants that? Women don't and men don't. It's better to be a little more sensitive but no need to be wet. There's a happy medium in there for all of us.
The personal is always political when it comes to gender issues. Personally, I don't really go for the concept of a modern, new age sensitive guy. I think it undermines what Dr. Fallon would call cultural evolution. There are social benefits these days to just being a person who doesn't perpetuate outdated stereotypes of what men and women "should" be. Get rid of the "shoulds" and "musts". The cognitive psychologist , Albert Ellis, said that operating from the assumption that things "should" be this way is bullshit and could only be called "Musterbation". (Yes he really did say it was bullshit. He said the F-word a lot too. Interesting guy.)
Men and women can define themselves and decide how they want to be. For example, I was the child of a marriage that was very traditional in some ways and non-traditional in others. My mom earned more money than my dad, my dad took us kids to softball practice and packed our school lunches, and mom cleaned the house and cooked dinner while dad did the dishes and mowed the lawn. There was a sense of shared responsibility for domestic duties, caretaking, and child rearing. That being said, the roles my parents played in the family could be called "traditionally male" or "traditionally female". They just did what worked for them.
Because I had that experience growing up, I'm not too attached to labels. I think in the home, whichever partner, male or female, is good at it, or is available to do it, or doesn't hate it with a passion, could be the one to pitch in and help. Some women get stuck worrying about leaving daddy to watch the kids, or they feel he just doesn't clean the floors "like she does", and in this way, women can undermine partners who genuinely want to contribute at home. Then the same women complain that "he never does anything". That is de-masculating, because real men want to support their families in any way they can. There is nothing in male DNA that points to domestic deficiency, this is socially constructed and inaccurate. Real men do dishes, and change diapers, and do laundry. They give hugs and dry their children's tears. They can be strong and caring. They respect the roles that women play, and they earn their respect too.
I think that sensitive, sweet guys are the best! That is what I am personally attracted to. I have met many guys who think acting like a macho gorilla is the way to go, but it is such a turn off.
Im glad the old traditional roles have changed. My brother n law stayed home with my niece while my sister worked and when she got home, my brother n law went and taught class n worked on his disertation. He is now getting his doctoral degree and will now be the bread winner.
Thank goodness roles have changed.
I'd file it under "navel gazing"
Being "too PC ... for our own good" is a different subject altogether.
Hey you know AdGuy always gets the last word! ;)