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European terror threat

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By bronwen (Contact - View My Woyano)
Published Fri 15 Jun 2007, 140 Views, 5 Comments

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also , the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. 


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Category: News, General
Tags: fun
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    5 Comments

  1.  
    vadagh ~ 18 months ago
    0 votes thumbs up thumbs down
    Superb, I'm going to send that one to a few buddies.
    [ reply ]
    1.  
      bronwen ~ 18 months ago
      0 votes thumbs up thumbs down
      Glad you enjoyed!
      [ reply ]
    2.  
      starrman ~ 18 months ago
      0 votes thumbs up thumbs down
      Quite amusing, but I only wish that the European terror threat was really a laughing matter.
      [ reply ]
      1.  
        bronwen ~ 18 months ago
        0 votes thumbs up thumbs down
        "The terror threat" is only a threat as long as we remain afraid. And laughing at something makes it less frightening.

        Obviously, though, this piece isn't really about "the terror threat," it's just a clever play-up of stereotypes of various European nations.
        [ reply ]
      2.  
        kaisersosa ~ 18 months ago
        0 votes thumbs up thumbs down
        im english and i find it friggin funny, though i must say the old stereotypical peeved and miffed and cup o tea had me reverting through hypnosis to a bygone age :) and i came out of the trance wearing a bowler hat and with my flies undone, so it cant have been that bad surely :)
        [ reply ]
        1.  
          AdGuy
          22 votes thumbs up thumbs down
          This is my two cents...

             
          Hey you know AdGuy always gets the last word! ;)

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