You don't have to tell us how you spent this hard-earned time away from the office. And you don't have to tell us the brilliant excuse you devised, either. Of course it wasn't YOU who would avoid the office, but perhaps a "good friend of yours" just happened to try the best work excuse in the universe, and it worked like lucky charms.
So, what was the best work excuse "that buddy of yours" ever used?
*Disclaimer: The following list of funny work excuses is not authorized or endorsed by the Woyano Team, and should you attempt to use one, for purposes of ditching your place of work or just for giggles, remember you heard about these from Georgie. In case anyone asks, Georgie told you.
| Reasons Why I Can't Come to Work Today "Sorry I can't make it in today, I'm farting blood!" "Oh, you mean it's Next' Monday I have off!!" "I couldn't find a spot to park this morning, so I just went home." "I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation." "My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it." "The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet." "I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian." "The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled." "I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information." "Constipation has made me a walking time bomb." "Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Hoyas, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling." "I have a rare case of 48 hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet..." "My stigmata's acting up." "When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the toilet, but I feel good about it." "If it is all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today." Thanks to Bored.com for their list of work excuses. | |
georgie
17 Comments
I think you covered all of my other excuses above.
One small point though - these are not 'excuses', they're 'reasons'. There's a subtle difference.
I can't come to work today because I have come down with a case of temporary blindness?
Reason, or excuse?
I can't come to work because my paycheck has not been deposited yet and I do not have any cash to pay for gas to get there.
Only works if you get direct deposit...
And you drive to work...*L*
In the end, I borrowed my brothers clothes and arrived late...*L*
but that would be funny!
Hmm, which one can I use for tomorrow?
The old saying "sin carries it's own punishment" never has felt more accurate.
They were my favorite band growing up. Pitty they were all messed up on drugs and the like.
Hey you know AdGuy always gets the last word! ;)