Random writings over the years have helped me through a lot, hope they can do the same for anyone...

I killed myself.

It only took one bad decision,

One brief moment in time and condemned for time immemorial.

Today I sit here new and old, alive and dead.

Who was I , I never really knew, and never will.

A fate sealed, and unwritten, a path illuminated and grey.

Each day I awake not knowing anything about myself,

Viewing life through the eyes of a curious child

And a patient adult.

Nothing bothers me , no one hurts me, no one really matters to me , cause I don’t know me.

I can’t cry, I am practical, logical an analyst an artist, a wordsmith a saint, a sinner a clown.

Today in sadness I sleep is it inevitable that in happiness I will awaken or is that not possible.

Nobody can understand this, nobody understands me, I say things that hurt people I don’t mean to, that’s not who I am.

i have great doubt.

I have no fear.
 I need you now once more.

The past is beautiful… the greats the authors , the musicians, the artists, they left us tools, tools to uplift our souls, to feel the song of the singer, to love and experience the painting of the artist or to enjoy the description of the author they all are immortal, here forever with us – for us.