15 Ways to Be A Good Republican

In the interest of fair play, here's a companion piece to the Democratic beliefs posted by "rebelcause" __ things you have to believe to be a good Republican today. LOL Unfortuantely, this isn't as funny as the list "rebelcause" posted. But then, who said Republicans have a sense of humor? Anyway, I didn't write them. Here goes:

but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him,
a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him,
a good guy when Cheney did business with him,
and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist,
but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority
is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense,
but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

You support states' rights, but Attorney Genera! John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

"Standing Tall for America" meanings firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

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