Lessons When I Thought I Was Going to Die

(Above - pics of "Precious Crew." doggy loves hamster, hamster moves speed
of light she's always blurry, kitty hangs off her blanket that was to be washed  : )


Not too long ago, I was very sick.
I thought I might die. I looked around
me, suddenly noticing things I would
miss the most.

I would miss the birds singing. Their
song is so wondrously beautiful.

I would miss the warm sun filtering
through gorgeous green leaves. Such
a work of art.

I would miss my favorite computer
games. They are so much fun, and
give me so much joy.

I would miss candlelight, the promise
of a great movie, and a hot tub of
freshly popped popcorn.

I would miss the adorable face and
softness of my little hamster. She is
cute beyond measure.

And my doggy and kitty. They need
me so!

But mostly, I would miss my family.
In my mind's eye, I suddenly see all
the fun times, the laughter, those
small moments that rushed by like
some afterthought.

I remember falling over laughing so
hard at their jokes, and the wonderment
I felt at how clever and awesome they
were - and still are.

I remember their smiles, their concern
for me, for others. And, I remember a 
time I almost lost someone. When you
you almost lose someone, you start to
realize how extraordinarily precious they
are to you.

What's interesting is what I would not
miss.

I would not miss going to work at my
computer. I would not miss billing people,
arguing with people over small things,
trivial things, or money.

I would not miss buying most of the silly
things I own. I would not miss any times
I've been angry or upset. 

I would not miss the times I hurt someone
or some thing.

I would not miss all those wasted moments
when I ignored what I have and wished for
things I didn't have.

I would not miss having a big beautiful
luxurious hotel or mansion or tons of guys
liking or admiring me.

I would not miss drinking or carousing or
creating mischief with myself or others.

I would not miss stolen kisses with people
I didn't really care about.

You would think someone would miss those
things!

No. Instead, I would mostly miss the happy
joy of my family or friends when I was able to
do something for them... with them. I will miss
the little mouse that scampered away when
I saved him. I would miss all those smiles and
joyful, tender moments when I was able to
give love, and, be loved.

That's what I learned when I thought I was
going to die.

Now that I'm still around, I've changed. What
used to be so important, isn't so much anymore.

Oh - and another thing... when you think you're
a goner, you realize how unimportant it really
is what other people think of you.

It's what you think of yourself, and how you
are able to forgive, and love those other people.

Oh, if I only knew then, what I know now!

: )